today i realized that im actually going crazy, as compared to my mental state a few years back.
what am i supposed to do now? now that i know that i really AM slowly degenerating into a retarded self defecating bastard? heck, do crazy people even know that they've gone nutters?
all i know is, i cant picture myself in therapy or staying at an institute.

oh well

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Moderate
Schizoid Disorder:	High
Schizotypal Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Disorder:	High
Borderline Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Disorder:	Very High
Dependent Disorder:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

scream- the soundtrack of my life.

i fear that ive been traumatised for life. shopping in very crowded areas isnt usually my cup of tea.
Fending off hordes of ching chong aunties while trying my darnest to purchase panties is DEFINATLY not my cup of tea. SHIT!!!!!! they kept giving me dirty looks!!!! dog damn it! I SWEAR REVENGE ON THE CHING CHONGS!!!

NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Romeo.
[To Juliet.] If I profane with my unworthiest hand
  This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this,--
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
  To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

Juliet.
Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
  Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
  And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.

Romeo.
Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

Juliet.
Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.

Romeo.
O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;
They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.

Juliet.
Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.

Romeo.
Then move not while my prayer's effect I take.
Thus from my lips, by thine my sin is purg'd.
[Kissing her.]

Juliet.
Then have my lips the sin that they have took.

Romeo.
Sin from my lips?  O trespass sweetly urg'd!
Give me my sin again.

just one more.. its always just one more.

::product of my former self::
dust and ash
nothing but dust and ash
that is all we truly were

u said you thought you knew
i said i thought i did not
dust and ash
that is all

i tried sitting back
changing to another point of view
another side of me
another side of you

and all i saw was black

trying to fly
when all i could do was run
spreading invisible wings to the boundless skies
but all i could feel was the ground

you said you tried
i said i cried
so u did
so i did
and i fell back down

into an oblivion-

where there was nothing
no me
no you
and the nights ran long
and the days were grey

and i sat there by my former self-
talking about the days gone by
and how i use to cry
and how you said you tried
and how there i died