i rather continue living this miserable nightmare of a half life, than risk my heart with you again.
it's sad how 1 phone call can transcend a 8 yr gap and reopen all those wounds.
i really think i'm better off alone..and dead.
the future is bleak and my life is in a shambles. i just need to save up some money for my funeral, don't wanna be any more of a burden to others than i already am.

went for sakae sushi buffet the other day.. ended up playing chawamushi challange!!
even though i won.. i still ended up eating 4 chawamushies.. yum!

So you sailed away into a grey sky morning

now i'm here to stay, love can be so boring

nothings quite the same now, i just say your name now...

but its not so bad, you're only the best i ever had

you dont want me back.. you're just the best i ever had

so you stole my world, now im just a phoney

remembering the girl, leaves me down and lonely

send it in a letter, make yourself feel better..

It may take some time to patch me up inside

i can't take it so i run away and hide

i may find in time that you were always right

you're always right..

what was it you wanted? could it be im haunted?

But its not so bad.. you're only the best i ever had

i dont want you back. you're just the best i ever had

for mlwl

Lying in my bed again and i cry cause you're not here

Crying in my head again and i know that it's not clear

Put your hands inside my face and see that its just you

But it's bad and it's mad and it's making me sad

Because i can't be with you.

it's sad how you go from intimacy to nothing.
so few people have lasting meaning in my life.

i found out today that this blog has been compromised.
might move my ramblings on to another place..

ponder ponder..

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

- Mary Frye

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.